Full Careers

How to help 12 y/o to choose education and career path?

My daughter's counselor told me that since my daughter hasn't already chosen a career or college - that she might as well "give up" trying to make anything of herself and settle for a life of working as a cashier or day care worker. I think she is probably still a little too young to have these decisions set in stone - but it probably wouldn't hurt to find out the kinds of things she has an aptitude for doing. Are there resources I can utilize to help her at least narrow down her choices? I hesitate to put all our efforts into one area since her older sister, at this age, wanted to be a film director but now wants to be a librarian (she's a senior in high school). She is in the advanced lanaguage arts and mathematics classes at her school, and her grades are very good. She isn't allowed to take elective courses for another couple of years - so I am not quite sure what the hurry for decision making is in her case. I think the school is just in a hurry to "sort the cattle". Thanks.

Public Comments

1. Huh??? I would report the dang counselor!!!! what the Flip!!! She is a litttle girl. Why does she have to choose now. Even seniors and kids in college have difficulty making that determination. What a mistake the counselor has made!!!!!! Let your kid be a kid. Expose her to different career options gradually. She will find her way!
2. At 12 years old children shouldn't have to think about their future careers. Thats just stupid. I think when I was 12 I still wanted to be a fire fighter. Those are just dreams, not realistic. It's normal for a 12 year old to not even care about college. I didn't know what I wanted or what school I was going to apply for until my senior year of high school. It will come in time. Don't worry.
3. Mellow out. I remember when I was a senior in college, everybody had career plans. Then they went where the wind blew them.
4. Feel free to share my opinion with the counselor: Your daughter's counselor is a buffoon who doesn't belong anywhere in education. I hope this counselor quits or gets released and winds up working in construction, manufacturing, or some other career that doesn't involve helping people. You're right. Age twelve is hideously early for someone to be pressed to choose a career. Your daughter's experience is quite narrow and her brain isn't physically mature yet. At this age, she should be encouraged to learn about and experience a wide range of things. It doesn't hurt for her to have an idea about her future career if she comes by it naturally, but to force her to make a decision is folly. What does it do for her education? If she starts learning specific career skills now, then in ten years they'll be so out of date--what a waste of time! Brain research shows that the strongest, healthiest mind is the one that is active in a wide range of endeavor. To build a strong mind in this girl, get her opportunities in arts, sports, community service, humanities, sciences. Don't pigeon-hole her this early. Oh, OK, you have to shut up the counselor. Tell the dimwit that your daughter has decided to become a school counselor because it's obviously such easy work that even a dummy can do it. :-) Seriously, just make something up to shut them up. If you really want to spin their heads, have the girl tell them something different every time they ask. Just don't take this stuff seriously; it's incompetent. When your daughter is in her junior year, it will be time to tack down a clear career plan in order to plan the college education most effectively.
5. Your daughter's counselor sounds off her rocker. I know they have tests to see what your career based on your likes and dislikes...but expecting a 12 year old to know what they want to be is ridiculous. I didn't settle on my future occupation until I was a sophomore in college. Yes, it's great to have a direction, but she's still so young. I wouldn't push it...just encourage whatever interest she has. And you may want to talk to the principal regarding this counselor's remarks. They do not sound like anything that should be coming from someone in the education field. Imagine how many lives and dreams she must have broken along the way! She sounds like a bitter person!
6. That is insane. Let her develop her interests. Some kids know what they want to do at a very early age; for many people, though, that changes greatly and often over time. Let her be a kid. There's too much academic pressure now. Mostly, encourage her to find something she loves. And to be flexible if what she loves changes. Explore various hobbies. She shouldn't feel that she has to decide on something now and stick with it forever. Also, talk to the counselor. That is not a healthy attitude to instill in kids.
7. I'd have a long serious chat with the headmaster/mistress or whatever...that counselor is monstrous to tell a 12-yr old's mother that sort of piffle...because it IS piffle of the worst & cruelest sort. It is also inhumanly elitist and unprofessional. There is NO HURRY in regard to your daughter's "career choice or college" decisions---it's early days on both, as any reputable educator would tell you. My own daughter played & dreamed & read everything at that age and has had 3 careers [caterer's 'presentation chef', engineering textbook editor, and now middle-school history teacher] and built them all from a sound uni education without pressure from counselors or anyone else along the trail. Someone needs to climb down your counselor's neck with a sharp pointed instrument...I think you have all of our permissions in here to slap that egregious idiot senseless!
8. I have my suspicions about the counselor being qualified enough to do that kind of job! I teach 18 year olds and in the first year of A-Levels many of them are still deciding what career to choose even if they have chosen their 3/4 subjects. We counsel them when they choose their subjects and also in their final year. A twelve year old is too young to decide. She still has a few years left to think. I think the counselor should change her/his profession because she/he has chosen a wrong career!
9. ok well i'm thirteen and when i was looking for a career choice i focused on what i was really good at and what i loved to do, which was math science and english. I also love animals and like to help others, so i decided to become a vet. what also helped me make a decision are career quizzes on the web just google search career quiz and have your daughter take a quiz, that will narrow down her choices and get her thinking about a career.
10. I agree with all the comments about the counselor. Please tell the principal exactly what the counselor said and that it is unacceptable. Hopefully there is another counselor at the school. That counselor is mean spirited and incompetent. People like that can really damage students' future because there are parents who will not question and will think the counselor knows better because the school placed him or her in that position. Your daughter is obviously more than capable of going to university and doing most kinds of careers. Math is a skill that is an entry point for a lot of well paying jobs and she's advanced in it. It may be too early to decide on a career, but it isn't too early to explore interests. Give her choices for extra-curricular activities, make it fun. Whether it's music lessons, an internship, sports, a French class, creative writing or a space exploration camp, she'll enjoy learning and get a sense of what she's good at and likes to do. If $$ is an issue, many programs have scholarships. There are many great programs for kids now, both summer and year-round. Best wishes.
11. She is WAY too young to have to be making a decision like that, there are so many things to consider when trying to decide on a career path, like what you're interested in, what type of schools you can afford, and how far away from home you're wanting to go. There is no way you can get her to make a decision like that now, and doing so may actually hurt her in the long run. She WILL change her mind, and then might get stuck in a program that she doesn't want to do. This counselor is ridiculous, and needs to go back to school. I'm a guidance counselor, and I would NEVER tell my student's parents they need to make their child pick an education and career path. By all means, encourage her gifts but don't make her settle on one thing so soon.
12. I have taught middle school since 1971. This counselor is *highly inappropriate* to say such hurtful things to your daughter. ELECTIVE choices - chorus or band, art or home economics - might need to be made. But to tell a *perfectly normal* - and high-achieving! - middle school student that her career options are limited to "paper or plastic?" is dreadful. If this happened in MY school, this person would be OUT THE DOOR immediately. I like your phrase *sort the cattle* - it is possible that this counselor has such a workload that they wish to *dispense* with the kids who need less hands-on intervention - but that is no reason to disparage them. Call the principal - right now. If you get nowhere - call the Superintendent of Schools.