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My dream has failed - Please help me for ideas to cope with the pain & regret I feel?

How do you recover from regret? I am in agony over my lost chances to follow my dream career. I was raped as it was all taking off during a stressful situation as it was and that prooved too much and overwhelmed me and brought memories of childhood abuses and I was unable to dance anymore I was all blocked up with what felt like heavy led and blackness. I lost control of my body and mind and in that time of blackness my dreams and 'talents' and potentual and life just slipped away. I know I need to 'get over it' but the agony of loosing what was essentually my whole life and identity just hurts so much and I cant find anything again that matches the intensity and love I had for dance. I have tried dancing again but it is actually so painful to do because I can never be how I was before. How do you find the tools to get over the greif of loosing your goals in life because of a crisis which is not your fault. Has it taken a huge toll on your career potentual & dreams &life?

Public Comments

1. First of all let me start off by saying how sorry i am to hear about your ordeal, no woman should ever have to go through that, i know because i have, twice, it does take away alot from you, it steals your confidence, your dignity and self respect, but the only thing you can do is pick up the peices and move forward, it is understandable to feel withdrawn and not wanting to try again, but honey, if dancing is something you really want to do then you shouldn't let what's happened get in your way, dancing is your dream and you shouldn't have to feel like you can't dance anymore, i know it's hard but you have to be strong and if not following your dream because of one mans evilness, it means he will always have control over you, as if you get out there and start dancing with confidence again all you are showing him is that he has not ruined your life and in the end he's the loser, i always wanted to become a legal PA, something of which i dreamt about, but after being raped by someone i knew no doubt, it took that confidence i needed away, but after talking about it to my friends, i eventually decided they were right, so i went to collage and now i am a sucsesful legal PA for a top solicitors firm, i too had sexually and phsicallly been abused as a child but you can't dwell on the past, it's not healthy for you, so if you really want that chance in life then you have to make the jump, men who go around raping women are no better than child melesters or murderers, it might make them feel good at the time because they think they have utter control over you, but sweety, if you really want to beat this guy then the only way you're going to do it is by stepping up and saying i will dance. It does take time to regain what is lost but you have to start somewhere at some point so why not now and make that stand. I hope this is some help to you and i wish you all the very best of luck.
2. My sympathies my dear, it is indeed something that one does not "get over" no matter how much you want it too. Because, you keep holding those memories in inside you, you abuse. then rape, these are coming in between you and common sense to make a new life, doing somthing else. Dancing is great, but even more greater is teaching others this art, this will give you an outlet, as well as kids who may also be coming from difficult back ground. so set up new goals, more realistic, and jump in, you won't have time to think of your past. I can understand how you feel, as my dreams too have died a terrilble death, and my trust in people has been shaken more then one. but just sitting around to get over it, is a suicide. It's a big world, so HELP THOSE WHO ARE HURT, IN THAT WAY SOME OF YOUR PAIN WILL DRAIN AWAY. You can not undo what was done, but you can help those who might have been abused, by channeling that energy, your love for dance, to give the an outlet, for all those emotions, churning inside. Dancing is a great therapeutic tool, to get rid of all of those negative emotions, or adopts the positive ones. Teaching is still to me a very noble profession, where you are responsible, for the future generation to com. I know it's not still the same thing, today, but, I am sure there are students, just looking for some to guide them out of darkness, as well yourself. Life is too small to get stuck in these patches (Sad yes), but If you are determined that if you can help it at least one child will have a positive outlook. It's a beginning.
3. Go to "Divine Retreat Centre" in Kerala, India. You need "Inner Healing"
4. Crisis or Difficulties are part and parcel of anyone's life. it is the reaction that one gives to such crisis, that determines the character of a person........ i sincerely sympathise wth you & applaud your efforts that you've put in to get over ur all the gruesome things that you've faced. Oppurtunities are just at the next stop.........it is only waiting for you to leave your current stop and reach for it and get hold of it.....you've got to move on sooner or later so just try to forget your past for a moment and think about all the good possibilities that you can make happen with your efforts Life is a mixture of good n bad things...... all the bad things should be faced boldly coz at the end of it theres always a lesson to be learnt..... Life's happenings cannot be controlled but our reactions can be REMEMBER WHEN GOD TAKES SOMETHING FROM YOU IT MEANS THAT GOD HAS SOME OTHER PLANZ FOR YOU WHICH ARE EVEN BETTER THAN ANY LOSS THT YOU ARE REGRETTING NOW......Keep this in mind....repeat it in your mind......think of how you can improve yourself from here....... SUNRISE here is a SUNSET at the other end of the world. So NEVER GIVE UP coz what may appear to be the END, may actually be a "NEW BEGINNING".