Full Careers

Could you correct my English?

I'm a housekeeper and thinking about transfering to a Child Development Center. But , to do that, I need my boss' approval. Well, I have a supervisor and a manager who can sign my paper. The thing is my supervisor is from El salvador and speaks poor English. So I'm just gonna ask the manager. This is what I want to say to him. First of all, I want to thank you for giving me this great opportunity to work here as a housekeeper. I have been enjoying working here since day one. And I always feel welcomed and feel like home. But, I probably have to live in the states for the rest of my life and I'm only 28, I know I may sound selfish, but I want to improve my English and get a better career for my future. So I'm thinking about transfering to a CDC, I think this is another great opportunity for me to build a career and improve my English. So could you sign this paper for me? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- How does that sound? Thanks, guys.. My questions starts from " First of all" :)

Public Comments

1. that is a very good idea.
2. Salvador* going to* The thing is my supervisor is from El Salvador and he or she speaks poor English. But, I'll probably States* on the first sentence, just say "and I'm thinking about..."
3. It sounds good...!! I would just say "since the beginning" or "since the first day" instead of "since the day one" =) And if I were you I wouldnt even mention selfishism, doesnt sound good. Kisses and good luck!
4. Dear ______, First of all, I would like to thank you for giving me this great opportunity as a housekeeper. Since I joined, I have enjoyed working here. I have always felt welcomed and at home. I will be living in the States for the rest of my life and I hope you can understand that I would like to improve my English and make a career change. So I have decided to join a CDC, as I believe it will be a good opportunity to develop my English skills. I would very much appreciate if you would sign the attached for me. Thank you again for your guidance and understanding. Best Regards, ____________
5. First of all, I want to thank you for giving me this great opportunity to work here as a housekeeper.I have been enjoying working here since day one and I have always felt welcome and at home in my position. But, considering that I shall probably have to live in the States for the rest of my life and I'm only 28, I have to give some thought to the future. At the risk of sounding selfish, I feel that I must improve my English and improve my prospects. I am attracted by the thought of transfering to a CDC, where I think that there would be another great opportunity for me both to build a career and improve my English. However, I need to have the approval of my present employer in order to do this. I would be most grateful if you would support me in this by signing my application form. (if you are enclosing it you could say "by signing the attached form.")
6. Not great but ok. Take out the line that says you have to live in the states...... and I know I sound selfish....don't seem to easy to say "no" to. Be direct with want you want. Let them know you would appreciate if they would sign an approval letter.
7. Dear Sir: I thank you for having given me this opportunity to work as a housekeeper. Though I have enjoyed working here, I would like to be transferred to a Child Development Center as this would provide a chance to improve my English and in time, my career. I will truly appreciate your approval by signing this letter. Thank you for your understanding and concern. Very truly yours, _______________