Full Careers

Should I keep my boyfriend in mind when planning for my post college career?

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about two years now. He recently left the state to start his PhD on the west coast (US). Since then we've been visiting each other whenever we have the time. I'm also applying for a PhD, and I've been looking at programs both at the university he is attending and other schools relatively close to his university. But I'm wondering if I should be hindering myself by only considering schools that are close to where he is studying...some are prestigious, but most aren't. I'm mainly doing it so I could visit him more often or live with him if the schools are close enough together. But there are other good programs in other parts of the country that I'm not even considering. I'm wondering if I'll regret this in the future...as the reputation of the phd program could affect my career trajectory. On the other hand, a phd in my field would take about 7 years... so If we lived far apart, we'd hardly be able to see each other for at least 7 years.

Public Comments

1. GET OVER IT!!!! AND GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!!
2. You should attack your education with vim and vigor and go for it. You aren't going to be the age you are right now ever again. You are in the school mode and if you are concerned about a man then you are making a mistake. Firstly, he didn't take you into consideration. He went and did what he needed to do. Secondly, unless you are going to marry and do the baby thing and skip the work force, you need the best education for the field you are choosing. If your relationship is important enough for him, after he graduates he can always show up where you are and set his practice up. Believe me, you will regret it later and even blame him for it if you don't do it for you. Seriously, he is a boyfriend, not a husband, or fiance or anything relationship wise permanent. Think about that. What happens when he finds some west coast babe and decides you and he are quits. What happens to your tuition and all the hard earned information you worked for? Squat! Get out there and find the best school for your education and go there. You will have time for love later.
3. It dependson where your relationship is going. If this is someone you're having fun with and enjoy his company but don't see this working out in the long run, then you should go to the best school you can get into. If this is something you really feel is going to work out and want to get married soon, then you should keep that in mind and try to work it out to be close to him. Apply to schools in his area, also apply to schools outside of his area. If you get into a really good school far away from him and a really mediocre school close to him, then you will have something to talk about. Maybe he'll be willing to apply for transfer to schools closer to your school? I guess it all depends on how much stock and importance you put on the relationship and how willing the two of you are to compromise to make it work.