Full Careers

could you refine these sentences please ?

I have always aspired to choose a career that would mean work that really stimulates me and holds a natural appeal for me. The first and the simplest emotion that we discover in human mind is curiosity. My curiosity in Industrial Engineering has evoked during my summer internship at Hindustan Shipyard Limited, Visakhapatnam which provided an initial acquaintance with the various facets of process improvement and shop floor management along with the practical application of optimization theory as applied to the production line. Upon interaction with my Professor, discussing my internship, I was introduced to the science of Industrial Engineering. Subsequently as a member of the Indian Society of Technical Education I attended various workshops on Operations Research, Engineering Management, and Production Management among other subjects, which further engrossed my interest in Industrial Engineering – a field of engineering that I aspire to study and explore.

Public Comments

1. Need a period between Shipyard Limited & Visakhapatnam. Comma betweeb management and along. Need and and between professor & discussing and professor isn't capitalized. Needs a comma before & after "as a member of the Indian society of Technical Education". Now you're good!!
2. Comma after 1st `me` Comma after Visakhapatnam not Limited. Comma after `improvement` and `management` `and` after Professor small p Comma after `Education` Could put full stop after `subjects` and start new sentence with `These` further engrossed...