Full Careers

have you ever had to read/write a letter of recommendations?

Have to write a letter of recommendation for that fired employee? Here are a few suggested phrases for the chronically absent=a man like him is hard to find or it seemed her career was just taking off for the office drunk=I feel his real talent is wasted here or we generally found him loaded with work to do or every hour with him was a happy hour for an employee with no ambition=he could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in or you would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you for an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled=I can assure you that no person would be better for the job for an employee who is not worth further considerations a job candidate=I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment or all in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him to highly for a stupid employee=there is nothing you can teach a man like him or I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever for a dishonest employee=her true ability was deceiving or he’s an unbelievable worker have to read a letter of recommendations? here are a few translations: a keen analyst=thoroughly confused accepts new job assignments willingly=never finished a job active socially=drinks heavily alert to company developments=an office gossip approaches difficult problems with logic=finds someone else to do the job bridge builder=likes to compromise character above reproach=still one step ahead of the law charismatic=no interest in any opinion but his own competent=is still able to get work done if supervisor helps conscientious and careful=scared consults with co workers often=indecisive, confused and clueless delegates responsibility effectively=passes the buck well demonstrates qualities of leadership=has a loud voice deserves promotion=create new title to make him/her feel appreciated displays excellent intuitive judgment=knows when to disappear displays great dexterity and agility=dodges and evades superiors well enjoys job=needs more to do excels in sustaining concentration but avoids everyone=ignores everyone excels in the effective application of skills=makes a good cup of coffee exceptionally well qualified=has committed no major blunders to date expresses self well=can string two sentences together gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike=a coward happy=paid too much hard worker=usually does it the hard way identifies major management problems=complains a lot is well informed=knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept inspires the cooperation of others=gets everyone else to do the work is unusually loyal=wanted by no one else judgment is usually sound=lucky keen sense of humor=knows lots of dirty jokes keeps informed on business issues=subscribes to playboy and national enquirer listens well=has no ideas of his own maintains a high degree of participation=comes to work on time maintains professional attitude=a snob meticulous in attention to detail=a nitpicker mover and shaker=favors steamroller tactics without regard for other peoples opinions uses all available resources=takes office supplies home for personal use quick thinking=offers plausible excuses for errors should go far=please spends extra hours on the job=miserable home life straightforward=blunt and insensitive strong adherence to principles=stubborn tactful in dealing with superiors=knows when to keep mouth shut takes utmost advantage of every opportunity to progress=buys drinks for superiors takes pride in work=conceited uses time effectively=clock watcher very creative=finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work will go far=relative of management willing to take calculated risks=doesn’t mind spending someone else’s money

Public Comments

1. ha ha!
2. UMMM...HAHA
3. Oh my god! I have to write one tomorrow! Can I borrow these?