Full Careers
What do you guys think about my short essay?
After I finish my academic career, I want to devote more time to philanthropic enterprises. Most people in college dedicate the majority of their time to schoolwork and therefore do not have sufficient time to give back to society. It is also understandable because college students need to succeed in school to secure a promising future. When I receive my degree, I hope to use it a mechanism that will allow me to help others. I plan to become a teacher, primarily because I want to help the next generation of children to succeed in the future. I think that my contribution will help the students throughout the rest of their lives. Besides teaching, I plan on volunteering and creating non profitable programs designed to help others. For instance, I plan on developing an institution aimed at helping adolescents and college students cope with the hardships of life. This program will provide free therapy, counseling, tutoring for school, and social activities that will promote unity and social harmony. Overall, I think my goals will impact society in a positive way. If everyone would contribute on a consistent basis, this world would become unified, and much of the hatred and poverty would be eliminated. I think that my future students will be very thankful to me for preparing them for the real world. Furthermore, the people that will benefit from the programs I plan to create will have a better chance at succeeding in life and in whatever they want in general.
Public Comments
- It's nicely written, but try checking your grammar.
- Its good
- I find it to be quite good.
- I would take "more" out of your first sentence and completely do away with the second and third sentences. They are vague generalities and unsubstantiated ones at that. Just going from your beginning sentence to the fourth flows nicely and keeps your writing more concise and to the point.
- I agree with Tasha. Also, change "It is understandable" to "This focus on schoolwork and not philanthropy is understandable..." Also, you should focus on how being a teacher can help change the world!
- pretty good..
