Full Careers
Family vs. career? Am I being selfish?
I have been dating a wonderful man for almost 2 yrs. I am 30 & he is almost 29. I have 2 beautiful kids from a prior relationship ages 9 & 11. My bf has a passion to fly commercial planes. About a year ago, he signed up with the Canadian Armed Forces & he's still waiting to hear if he's been accepted. Problem is, he must obtain a university degree (he only has a college degree) before he is allowed to join the air force. So he left a very good job working as a computer IT @ our city hall office to go back to university this fall. He has approx. 2 1/2 more yrs before he obtains his degree. Once he has his degree, he must train for 2 yrs with the air force to obtain his commercial pilot's license. He then owes them 7 years of service in return. I have told him that I love him enough to stand by his side & wait for him but he of course would like to have a family - probably in another 5 years, once he's done his schooling & training. I have told him "No way". I have said "NO" because: 1. I will be 35 + yrs old. 2. My children will be nearing graduation, so I'm not sure if I want to start another family. 3. I told him that he must choose between family or his passion to fly. I refuse to raise any more children by myself (been there already) and that if we have children, he needs to put us first. He is unable to do this while he would be serving with the air force.
Public Comments
- I no longer have to work full-time, so I don't know.
- i can understand his point of view, he wants to be there when you 2 have kids.
- I don't necessarily think you're being selfish, I think you are sticking by your feelings and goals for your own future. You are looking at several years before he reaches his goal and I think it's great that he's following his dreams, but you have to be honest with yourself about whether or not you are really willing to go through the tough times with him until he gets there. Of course, I think that's what a relationship is all about....sticking together through the good and bad times. You have to do some soul searching and decide what's best for you and your children in the long run. Good Luck.
- Well the connection is their but you guys are on too different paths. I wouldn't say your selfish just self-assured it seems like your trying to accomplish your primary goals just as well as he is and nothings wrong with that. my opinion is remain good friends, keep in touch and if its meant to be then everything will fall into place.
