Full Careers

How can I improve my essay?

My first college essay is due tomorrow and I am willing to take any advice that it will improve it. The essay is for a class for freshmen. We were assigned to a take a test that it is supposed tell you your personal stregnths and write an essay reflecting on it. So here is my essay: Reflection Paper 1: My Strengths We all have strengths as well weaknesses, but too often we dwell on are weaknesses rather than build on our personal strengths. A reason for identifying our personal strengths is to make better decisions, handling stress, developing better study skills, joining clubs, and choosing a major, all issues we have to deal with as freshmen in college. Once we recognize these strengths we can achieve success not only in college, but in all areas of our lives. After taking the strengths quest test it became conscious to me of the many skills I obtain. My results were Restorative: being adept at dealing with problems, Responsibility: taking psychological ownership of what I say I will do, Analytical: searching for reasons and causes, Adaptability: preferring to “go with the flow”, and Relator: enjoying close relationships with others. In the brief descriptions for all of my themes I found many phrases to strongly to describe my personality. For example the Restorative theme describes that “It is a wonderful feeling to identify the undermining factors, eradicate them and restore something to its true glory “ this is true for me because I challenge myself often with difficult problems that I feel almost burdened to resolve, so it is a relief when I disentangle the problem. This theme correlates with the Analytical theme which describes someone with this theme as: “You peel the layers back until, gradually, the root cause is revealed”, this is true for me because I enjoy this part of problem solving. “Whether large are small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion”; a description of someone with the Responsibility theme ,which is true for me because integrity is something I value and I feel required to fulfill my duties, but I often feel bound to keep my good reputation. One theme I am unsure about is the Relator theme. A person with this theme is described as not shying away from meeting new people and enjoy turning strangers into friends and I don’ t think these qualities quite illustrate my personality . I have always considered myself as private and reserved that takes a significant amount of time to form relationships, so to be one of my themes was bit of a surprise. A theme of mine that I once considered negative was Adaptability. Someone with this theme is portrayed as enjoys living in the moment and has an easy going attitude; my mother would describe this as being lackadaisical. But, now I can use this as strength. People with this are able to expect the unexpected and remain calm under strength. Now that I realize this strength I can apply it to my life. Now that my strengths are recognized I am able to use them to face the challenges and rewards of being a freshman. One challenge many freshmen face is choosing a major. I can use the Relator theme to talk with mentors about career planning. I can research different careers that incorporate all 5 themes. In college developing good study habits is extremely important. Since there is always room for improvement, I am able to use the Adaptability theme because I am flexible and capable of remaining calm under stress. With the Analytical theme I naturally dissect ideas and examine them carefully, which can be used as a tool in study sessions. In terms of extracurricular activites, I can use the Relator and Responsibility themes in organizing or joining a club to build relationships and also do humanitarian work with an organization that shares the same values as I do. I can also utilize my analytical skills by joining a debate team. Identifying one’s personal strengths should be encouraged. These strengths can be utilized to contribute to one’s personal and spiritual life. Not only can we utilize our strengths, but build on our existing strong points.

Public Comments

1. Okay. Here goes. You've got a few grammatical, punctuation, phrasing, and paragraphing errors. Best of luck with your report. ========================= We all have strengths as well as weaknesses, but too often we dwell on our weaknesses rather than build upon our personal strengths. Good reasons for identifying our personal strengths include the ability to make better decisions, to better handle stress, to develop better study skills, to join clubs, and to choose a major--all issues that college freshmen must deal with. Once these strengths are recognized and acted upon them, success can be achieved not only in college, but in all areas of daily living. After I took the Strengths Quest Test, the results showed that I already do possess many valuable skills. My results were enlightening and indicated I possess the following skills: *Restorative: Being adept at dealing with problems. *Responsibility: Taking psychological ownership of what I say I will do. *Analytical: Searching for reasons and causes. *Adaptability: Preferring to “go with the flow.” *Relator: Enjoying close relationships with others. In the brief descriptions for all of my themes, I have found that many phrases accurately describe my personality. For example, the Restorative theme states that "It is a wonderful feeling to identify the undermining factors, eradicate them and restore something to its true glory." This is true for me because I often challenge myself with difficult problems that sometimes feel burdensome, so it is a relief when I ultimately work out the problem. This theme also correlates with the Analytical theme, which is described as follows: “You peel the layers back until, gradually, the root cause is revealed.” Again, this is true for me because I enjoy this part of problem solving. "Whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion,” describes someone with the Responsibility theme. This is personally true because integrity is something I value, and I feel required to fulfill my duties, but I often feel bound to keep my good reputation. One theme I am unsure about, however, is the Relator theme. A person with this theme is described as not shying away from meeting new people and enjoying turning strangers into friends; I don’t think these qualities quite illustrate my personality. I have always considered myself as private and reserved and as one who takes a significant amount of time to form relationships. So for this to be one of my themes was a bit of a surprise. A theme of mine that I once considered negative is Adaptability. Someone with this theme is portrayed as enjoying living in the moment and as having an easygoing attitude. (My mother would describe this as being lackadaisical.) But, now I can use this as strength. People with adaptability are able to expect the unexpected and remain calm under stress. Now that I realize this is actually a strength, I can apply it to my life. Now that my strengths are revealed, I will use them to face the challenges and rewards of being a freshman. One challenge many freshmen face is choosing a major. I can use the Relator theme to speak with mentors about career planning. I can research different careers that incorporate all five themes. In college, developing good study habits is extremely important. Since there is always room for improvement, I can use the Adaptability theme because I am flexible and capable of remaining calm under stress. With the Analytical theme, I naturally dissect ideas and examine them carefully, which is a useful tool for study sessions. In terms of extracurricular activities, I can use the Relator and Responsibility themes in organizing or joining a club to build and to enhance relationships. Also, these themes can aid me in selecting and performing humanitarian work with an organization that shares the same values as I do. I can also utilize and sharpen my analytical skills by joining a debate team. Identifying one’s personal strengths is encouraging. These strengths can be utilized to enrich and contribute to one’s personal and spiritual life. Not only can we utilize our strengths, but we can further build all existing strong points. =========================== I am a medical transcriptionist, and I do a lot of editing that makes the doctors sound brilliant. I also have had 7 textbooks published when I was a technical training instructor for the USPS. Take a look at the paragraphing used. Whenever you have a change of thought, use a new paragraph. Also, consider the idea of grammatical parallelism in your sentence structure. Make sure the forms match: to make better decisions; to handle stress; to develop; to join; to choose. All the verb phrases must be the same. It could have been written like this: making better decisions; handling stress; developing; joining; choosing. The use of either the infinitive form of the verb or the participial form of the verb is correct. Just don't mix the two forms. Choose one form and follow that throughout the sentence. "...reason for identifying our personal strengths is to make better decisions, handling stress, developing better study skills, joining clubs, and choosing a major..." Good luck with your college career! I wish you the best of success! You certainly have the traits and skills needed to do so!